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HANG-UP CLOSET LIGHT

Hang-Up Closet Light, retail $2.99 ()
Manufactured by ()
Last updated 10-26-19

The Hang-Up Closet Light (I don't believe that it has a formal name; this is simply what I call it) is a circular light that you hang in a dark space such as an unlit closet. It features three remarkably potent phosphor white LEDs under a transparent dome (with a large number of "bumps" on the inside to help diffuse the light), operates from three AA cells, and has a keyhole slot on the back for hanging it up.

Size of product w/hand to show scale

SIZE

To use the Hang-Up Closet Light, feed it first (see directly below), hang it up in a dark place where you could use a shot of light every now and again, and THEN you'll be ready to rock.

Press on the dome until you hear a soft click and then release to turn the product on, and do the same thing to neutralise it.
Yes, it's really that easy.

Hanging it up requires YOU to furnish the screw; I don't have any measuring instruments at my disposal so you're gonna have to figure this one out (screw shaft & head diameter) on your own.

To change the batteries in the Hang-Up Closet Light, first disengage it from the wall that you hung it on if necessary.
Turn the unit upside-down, and unclip & remove the battery door.

Carry that battery door outside and throw it into a graveyard so the zombies find it, drop it into an open grave, and take a leak on it...O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So just set it aside instead.

If necessary, remove the used AA cells from the compartment, and recycle or dispose of them as you see fit.

Install three new AA cells into the compartment, orienting each one so its flat-end (-) negative faces a spring for it in each chamber.

Place the battery door back on, and be done with it.
Aren't you glad you didn't throw that battery door into the graveyard with all those smelly, rotting, yucky zombies with full pissinary bladders now?

This is a household lamp meant for lighting up dark spaces, not a flashlight designed to be carried around, thrashed, trashed, and abused. So I won't throw it against the wall, stomp on it, try to drown it in the toliet bowl or the cistern, run over it, swing it against the concrete floor of an outdoor patio, use a small ball peen hammer in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity

, fire it from the cannoñata

, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto

(I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piñata" too much again

- candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piñata Central), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoñata (also located at Piñata Central) is only used to shoot piñatas to piñata parties away from picturesque Piñata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piñata Island {In the episode "Les Saves the Day...Again", Paulie Preztail says "Hey, ever wonder why this park's called 'Mount Erupto' anyway?", then Franklin Fizzlybear says "I think its an old native term. Means 'very safe.'"}), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analysis, or inflict upon it punishments that flashlights (that were born to be flashlights and nothing but flashlights) may have inflicted upon them.

If it fell in water and you suspect it got flooded, disassemble it as you would for a battery change, dump out the water if necessary, and set the parts in a warm dry place for a couple of days or so just to be sure it's completely dry inside before you reassemble and use it again.

If it fell into seawater, got thrown into a glass of milk, if it fell in a root beer float, if somebody squirted a Massengill brand post-menstrual disposable douche or a Fleet brand disposable enema at it (and hit it with the douche or the enema), if it fell into a bucket of antifreeze, or if somebody or something peed on it, rinse all the parts out with fresh water before setting them out to dry. You don't want your Hang-Up Closet Light to smell like seaweed, sour milk, flowers, fresh butts, or rotten piss when you go to use it next. Besides, salt (from seawater, disposable douches, disposable enemas, or uranation), lactic acid (from moo juice), glycerol (from antifreeze), or sugar (from root beer & ice cream) can't be very good for the insides.

So this section of the Hang-Up Closet Light's evaluation will appear SIGNIFICANTLY more bare than this section of the web page on a page about a flashlight that was born to be a flashlight and nothing but a flashlight..

Beam terminus photograph on a wall at 12".

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this light.

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this light; spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 445nm and 460nm to pinpoint native emission peak wavelength, which is 451.180nm.

The raw spectrometer data (tab-delimited that can be loaded into Excel) is at closet.txt

USB2000 Spectrometer graciously donated by P.L.

A beam cross-sectional analysis would normally appear here, but the ProMetric System
that I use for that test was destroyed by lightning in mid-July 2013.

TEST NOTES:
Test unit was purchased at the Happy Market in Fresno CA. USA on 09-03-19

UPDATE: 00-00-00

PROS:
The price is most definitely right
Decent intensity for the price
Uses batteries that are common and relatively inexpen$ive

NEUTRAL:

CONS:
Has a cheap, "plasticky" or "chintzy" feel to it
Light produced is extremely mottled and blotchy
Does not come with mounting hardware of any sort

Unknown

"Tap" closet light

5mm(?) phosphor white LED

Blotchy medium flood

N/A

Press dome on/off

Plastic

N/A

3x AA cells

Unknown/unable to measure

Very light splatter-resistance at maximum

¡¡¡LA GRAN CALABAZA DEFECANDO EN UNA CADENA DE NAVIDAD LUCES, NO!!!

None

Unknown/unable to measure

121g (4.270 oz.) incl. alkaline batteries

Unknown; though probably an Oriental country

Unknown/not stated

Hang-Up Closet Light *

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